Drinking the Unobtainable

Much as I love getting sent beer that is both (a) free and (b) unobtainable by normal means, I do wonder what to do with it. Of course, the obvious answer is "drink it, you fool", and so I have. And to justify drinking it, I'm also going to tell you what I think.

I'm not sure that anyone, anywhere is indulging in the sort of heroic folly that is Stuart Howe's '52 Brews' project. Not only is he running an ever-expanding commercial brewery, he is pushing the limits of what one brewer can achieve in a year. So far, everything I've tried from this project has been great; in the last couple of weeks, Winter Berry Strong and ESB Barley Champagne been impressive, with their traditional-ale-on-steroids character, big but beautifully balanced.

So far, what I've enjoyed most has been the 50 Hop IPA. Not only does it sound cool, it tastes great too, with layers of different hop character unfolding in the glass and across the palate. Totally brilliant, and endlessly drinkable. Well, I say endlessly - I'd like to be given the opportunity to put that to the test. The whole project oozes the sort of unhinged brilliance that you'd expect from a chap who not only routinely wears cufflinks, but also knows who Angerfist is.

At the other end of the country, displaying a similar sort of inventiveness (only with less cufflinks), the Dandy BrewPunks of Fraserburgh have released a tiny amount of their latest test brew, Prototype 27. In the assumption that you can never have too much of a good thing, they're taken their World Beer Cup gold medal-winning Hardcore IPA and aged it in a 1982 Caol Ila cask with 50kg of Scottish raspberries.

Like a lot of their more off-the-wall beers, this has left me not really knowing what to think - yes, it's a complex and tasty beverage, but I'm not totally convinced that it's a complex and tasty beer. The raspberry character sits alongside the pithy hops quite happily in the aroma, although the Islay phenolics distract somewhat. On the palate, the dry raspberry character comes to the fore, masking the thrilling, hoppy drinkability of the original, and then more phenolic smoke comes creeping in. On their blog, they describe it as "almost like a little bonfire inside a giant raspberry bouncy castle". I'd agree with that, although whether that is a positive or a negative description, I'll leave to your imagination.

Now Drinking: Sharp's 52 Brews Series - Chestnut Porter

Stuart Howe, brewer at Sharp's, is a clever chap. I know to look at him in his gorgeous rowing outfit (and I'm sure he didn't take much persuading to model that), he looks like a bit of a bruiser, but frankly if I had triceps like that, I'd be modelling them too. As it is, if I wore what Stuart is wearing in that picture, rather than looking like a Cornish obelisk, I'd look more like a Yorkshire Obelix. Not that I'm particularly chubby, but I don't have the drive to look quite that chiselled. I'm going to assume that Stuart is pointing to the brewery name on his shorts, rather than any other noteworthy appendages he has in that area. Shall we have a 'phwoar' before we move on? Go on then - PHWOAR!

Anyway, enough of the irreverence, because I've just opened a bottle of Stuart's "52 Brews" series Chestnut Porter, and it's great. Although it doesn't quite have the body and sweetness to cope with this Hotel Chocolat easter egg I'm currently working through (and to be honest that's imperial stout territory), it is a great beer in its own right. Weirdly, it smells like a Sharp's beer on the nose - I'm assuming its fermented with Sharp's proprietary eat-anything yeast, as it has that tell-tale whiff of ozone and beach about it, alongside a nutty mocha aroma. On the palate, the spritzy carbonation keeps everything light but firm, with big chunky chocolate flavours to the fore. The chestnut character really comes through in the finish, with a nutty vegetal edge riding alongside a sweet coffee note. Great balance, great length, great complexity. If Sharp's don't put this out as next years winter seasonal, I'll model that rowing outfit myself.

Sharp's "52 Brews" Project: Trappist IPA

This is a bloody boring video. Looking back at it, I seem to be dragging the words out one at a time, forcing myself to say something about a beer that I appear not to be enjoying. This is not the case. I think I might have been a little tired after a couple of days in Ceske Budejovice, so apologies to you if you sat through the video, and special apologies to Stuart Howe at Sharp's for my lacklustre review of his beer. I'll try to pep the prose up a bit.

Stuart's project, to brew 52 different beers in a year, on top of running Sharp's brewery is, frankly, a bit mental. I've met Stuart a couple of times, and have been impressed both by the bloody great holes in the plasterboard next to his desk. Who knows what caused them? Well, it's obviously Stuart's fists that made the holes, but what provoked them? A bad set of lab hygiene analysis results or something else implying that he has somehow taken his eye off the ball for a nanosecond, I'd guess. Last time I saw him, he had a huge purple bruise on his forehead. I didn't say anything at the time, expecting to find a fermenting vessel (perhaps one that had produced substandard beer) with a perfect imprint of his forehead in it, but he ruefully confessed the cause later in the day: Extreme Gardening.

Trappist IPA (10%abv) is Staurt's first brew of the series. It seems like I've cleverly chosen it for that reason, but it was just a coincidence - I wanted to drink something strong, full-bodied and slightly oxymoronic, and this fitted the bill pretty much perfectly. The big, sweet maltiness has a classic Trappist character - it reminds me of Chimay Blue - but then also has a big wallop of bitter hops arriving late in the day. The fruity malt trundles along nicely, but then the hops show up after the swallow, giving the beer a big, spicy, chewy character. It's unique and unusual, which sounds like a contemptible cheery-beery-ism, polite shorthand for poorly thought-out and barely drinkable, but as I finished it, I wished I had another bottle.

This beer is intense, powerful, unique, and touched by madness and genius in equal measures. If it's true that dogs and their owners can look alike, then this might be the first example of a beer that is a partial embodiment of its creator.

Now Tasting: Mystery Beer (Sharps)

I don't know exactly what this bottle is. It came from a mixed case that Stuart Howe at Sharps sent me ages ago. It's not one of his current "52 Brews" series (I still have them to taste/drink and write up), but I thought I'd give this a go.

Pin bright, copper-gold in colour, with a slightly wild note to the nose - I don't think it's infected, but it might be the aroma of a load of hops ageing disgracefully. Busy carbonation, quite dry, slightly dirty orange squash and toffee finish. Maybe a hint of beeswax? Aftertaste has a suggestion of Orval about it - again, I think it might be hop-related rather than anything else. This has been knocking around for a couple of years, in pretty good cellar conditions, and what has emerged is deep, slightly sherried, and enjoyably complex.

I think I just remembered that the B stands for Bobek - so this might be one of Stuart's prototype barleywines, hopped with Bobek. Maybe he'll remind me.

I played a variant of this game at work the other day. I got my co-worker Will to pour me a mystery beer, and I tried to identify it. I got that it was dark Belgian ale, about 8%abv, but couldn't nail it. It turned out to be Corsendonk Noel, which pleased me as I didn't immediately think "GAH! Of course it is!" - I remember Corsendonk Noel as being a bit more chocolatey, whereas this was more plummy and spicy. If you want to sharpen your tasting skills, this is a fun way to do it. And of course, a fun way to spend a few minutes at work (although may not be totally appropriate should you drive a vehicle or perform surgery for a living).

Right, that's it for now. I'm off for a couple of days in Ceske Budejovice as a guest of Budvar, along with a posse (a tankard? a round?) of half a dozen other beer writers. I hope to come back on Friday slightly fatter, but much happier.